Friday, June 02, 2006

My Birthday

So, today is the day. The beginning of my 29th year. I've never really liked my birthday. This morning I talked with my Mom on the phone and we reviewed my different birthdays--what we did, what presents I got, how I responded. Apparently swimming pools were a favorite gift--two years in a row!

Every year on my birthday, I feel a deep sadness. This has gotten better in recent years, as Nick has worked feverishly to distract me with happiness all day. A lot of people have anxiety around their birthday--whether they expect disappointment or hate the idea of turning a year older. For me, its just sadness. Maybe its the nostalgia that I feel because of what birthdays represent. Maybe it is a time when I remember every emotion I have ever felt around a birthday--sans the happy memories. It is honestly just the most sensitive day of my year. Every year.

Nick and I are headed to the movies this afternoon. We never do this. And when we do, we (being me) certainly do not have an easy time convincing us (being him) of romantic comedies. But, hey, today's my day. And today we are going to see "The Break-Up". I am sure that he'll laugh some but overall not really enjoy it. However, I do know that I am loved. And I know that Nick would do almost anything to make today a good day--even if that means romantic comedies and putting up with irrational sensitivities. And, really, I would know that I am loved even if he didn't do these things, but it is just so nice that he does them anyway. It is part of what makes me love him so much.

Thank you, Nick, for putting up with me, and working hard to help me learn how to enjoy my birthday. (And, Nick, guess what. I published a post without your intense editing! Aren't you proud of me?)

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