Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Valentine's Day Ramble

As I look back at what I used to blog feels very different. I had grand ideas about what my blog entries would look like post-move and so far, its not playing out.

I imagined images of our new house and adventures. I thought that there would still be pictures from the studio. I thought I'd have musings about the differences between living in row houses and farm houses. And yet somehow, it isn't even possible to go there yet.

We have been in North Carolina (since all of our travels) for about seven weeks now. We still do not have a house to call our own. Todd and Jess continue to be amazingly gracious to us invading their space. We continue to feel like the move in date for our rental is a month or more away....regardless if that feeling occurred seven weeks ago or today. It just seems to get longer and longer.

I haven't had studio stuff, so studio pictures aren't a possibility. I've knitted two scarves which I plan to show soon...but even pictures are a pain in the ass. Our computer is SLOW since the puff-back. Just another thing to address with our insurance adjuster.

Life is just different. Different from Pittsburgh. Different from what I had imagined. Different from before.

This past weekend I hit a wall of being overwhelmed (again). For any of your keeping track, this happens about once every three for weeks. Its a rough rough day. I lean on people. I'm weepy (as Todd and Jess are learning). And it all just feels like too much. I'm sure that many people think, "of course you are...". However, I'm not as much overwhelmed about the present as I am overwhelmed by the anticipation of the coming weeks. We have a lot to work out, and I can only hope that it spaces itself out a bit. We have a lot coming up: insurance (giving lists, comparing lists, making decisions, shopping, mailing receipts, letting go, etc.), moving back in (finishing the cleaning, checking the unpacked boxes for soot, unpacking, replacing our bed), job adjustment (both Nick and I), considering the renting vs. moving debate and adjusting our financial picture to this house market, and more. Sometimes when I realize what could all fall into the same week, I just panic. Luckily the real melt down only lasts about a day.

So, today is valentine's day. And I am fortunate enough to have an amazing valentine. That is one thing that is going as planned and hasn't changed. Its a big one. And regardless of the mess that is suspended above me waiting to fall, I'll continue to be grateful that I'm not standing here alone. Happy valentine's day, Nick.

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