Wednesday, June 11, 2008


The last six months have been fairly still, if you consider the previous twelve. But each of the major events that we experienced last year had its own set of reverberations.  At this point we're mostly faced with those that relate to my health or hysterectomy. And while each reverberation is slightly weaker than the last...they continue. To a lesser degree, the same can be said for each of the things we've experienced.

The one that is really annoying me today is the ipod. When I turned 27 Nick bought me an ipod. Because that specific one was so finicky, we learned to keep everything on the computer so that it was just a matter of hooking up and syncing it again when it would freeze and delete the music. Eventually it was replaced. (Thank god for Applecare!)

After the puff-back, we had to replace our computer. Meaning we lost all of the music that was stored on it. For the most part, we also have the albums on CD, but there were a few that had been compilations from others or purchased on iTunes. And those are gone, except on the ipod. And if you have an ipod (and aren't technically saavy or sneaky-and if you are, maybe you want to tell me about it...) you know that you can't really pull stuff off of your ipod and put it on the computer.

Recently, I've started listening to books on the ipod. I'm usually reading one and listening to another. I've found it is a great distraction while mowing or taking country walks on my own. But, wow, they take up some serious space on the ipod. Today, I am trying to delete those I have finished to make room for something new and because it won't let me sync manually (WHY can't I sync it manually?) I risk losing all of the stuff that is only on the ipod at this point if I sync with my itunes. I have to accept that I'll either never add another song, book or podcast or lose it all? Is there something I am missing?

This is just one example of how a difficult life experience can just continue to pick and prod over time. This is true on so many levels... not all quite so tangible. Loss never disappears completely. It becomes fainter and fainter over time, but every now and then, it jumps up and says "Remember? Yea, this is one more way that sucks."

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